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29. The Importance of Personal Distance

In social interactions, the physical space we maintain between ourselves and others, often termed ‘personal space’, plays a significant role. For some individuals, the need to maintain a certain distance from others isn’t just about comfort—it’s essential for their well-being and mental tranquility.

Why It’s Challenging

Different cultures, personal backgrounds, and individual preferences mean that the ‘ideal’ distance can vary widely between individuals. What’s considered close in one culture might be seen as distant in another. For those with a heightened sense of personal space, navigating these unwritten social rules can be particularly stressful.

Supporting Ourselves and Others

Awareness is the starting point. It’s crucial to recognise and respect our own and other people’s need for space, especially if it seems larger than what’s typically expected. Instead of perceiving it as aloofness or unfriendliness, understanding it as a personal need can pave the way for more comfortable interactions.

Practical Steps to Respect Personal Distance

  • Open Communication: If you’re someone who requires more space, communicate your preferences openly. This aligns with mastering solitary activities and being in tune with your needs.
  • Recognise Non-verbal Cues: If someone takes a step back or seems uncomfortable, they might be trying to reestablish their personal space. This understanding can be linked to the need to interpret non-verbal cues.
  • Adjust Environment: In settings like classrooms or workplaces, allowing individuals to choose their seats or having adjustable seating arrangements can make a big difference.
  • Respectful Touch: Always ask before hugging or touching someone, especially if you’re not well-acquainted. This echoes the sensitivity some people have towards certain types of touch or textures.
  • Use Technology: In today’s digital age, virtual meetings or online platforms can sometimes provide the necessary ‘distance’ for those who need it.


  • Boundary Indicators: Some people use tools like headphones or books as indicators that they’re in their own space. This parallels the tactic some adopt to deal with background noise.
  • Cultural Differences: In places like Japan, bowing is a common greeting that respects personal space, as opposed to hugging or cheek-kissing in other cultures.
  • Public Transport: Offering seats with more legroom or personal space, like in certain airline configurations, acknowledges the varying needs of passengers.

Daily Change Summary

Personal distance isn’t just about physical space—it’s about mental and emotional comfort. By understanding and respecting individual boundaries, we can improve our interactions and comfort around others.

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