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31. Difficulty with Eye Contact

In many cultures, eye contact is seen as an essential aspect of effective communication. It’s often associated with attentiveness, confidence, and honesty. Yet, for many, maintaining eye contact can be deeply uncomfortable or even distressing.

Why It’s Challenging

The reasons behind avoiding eye contact can be multifaceted. For some, it’s an overwhelming sensory experience, akin to trying to decipher information amid background noise. For others, it could be due to anxiety, past traumas, or neurodivergent conditions like autism.

Supporting Ourselves and Others

Recognising and respecting someone’s comfort level with eye contact is vital. Pressuring someone or making judgments can exacerbate feelings of discomfort or anxiety. It’s crucial to understand that avoiding eye contact doesn’t equate to inattentiveness or dishonesty.

Practical Steps to Navigate Eye Contact Difficulties

  • Alternate Focus: If direct eye contact is challenging, focus on other parts, like the bridge of the nose or the person’s mouth. This might also be a solution for those who struggle with processing visual information.
  • Practice with Media: Watching videos or engaging in video calls can provide a less intense environment to practice making eye contact.
  • Open Communication: Be honest about your comfort levels. If you’re in a position of understanding, let others know that you don’t equate eye contact with attentiveness.
  • Comfort Objects: Some find it beneficial to have an object to fidget with, which can act as a soothing distraction, much like repetitive rituals can be calming for others.
  • Seek Therapeutic Support: Professionals can offer coping strategies or therapeutic interventions to help navigate the discomfort.


  • Public Speaking: Many public speakers, even experienced ones, find it challenging to make direct eye contact with their audience. They often employ tricks like looking just over the audience’s heads.
  • Cultural Differences: In some cultures, direct eye contact can be seen as confrontational or disrespectful, while in others, it’s a sign of attention and respect.
  • Children and Eye Contact: Many children naturally avoid direct eye contact when they’re being reprimanded, which can be linked to handling criticism.

Daily Change Summary

Eye contact, though considered a social norm in many societies, can be challenging for various reasons. Recognising the individuality of comfort levels and reasons behind them paves the way for more empathetic interactions. By employing alternate strategies and fostering understanding, we can ensure that communication remains effective without compromising on comfort.

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