3: Clarifying Your Values

Welcome to Module 3 of “Navigating Relationships: Spotting Red Flags and Valuing Yourself”. This module is all about identifying and understanding your core values, an essential part of avoiding red flags and cultivating healthy relationships.

What are Personal Values?

Personal values are the principles that guide our decisions and behaviour. They’re our inner compass, representing what we believe is essential in life. They might include respect, honesty, kindness, or ambition, among others.

The Role of Values in Relationships

Knowing your values can help you make better choices in relationships. If you value honesty, a partner who lies frequently is a significant red flag. Understanding your values and using them as a guide can help you spot incompatible or unhealthy dynamics early on.

Activity: Identifying Your Values

Make a list of values that are important to you in a relationship. Consider values related to communication, conflict resolution, emotional support, and personal growth. Reflect on why each value is important to you and what it might look like in a relationship.

Values and Boundaries

Boundaries are another crucial aspect of healthy relationships, closely tied to our values. By setting clear, firm boundaries, you’re communicating your values to your partner and establishing what behaviour is acceptable.

Activity: Boundaries and Values

Reflect on your past or present relationships. Were there any instances where your boundaries were crossed? Write down these instances and identify which values were related to those boundaries. This exercise will help you see the connection between your values, boundaries, and red flags.

Aligning with Your Values

A relationship that aligns with your values is more likely to be fulfilling and healthy. Recognising red flags that contradict your values is a key skill that we’ll continue to develop in this course.


Continue practicing mindfulness and daily check-ins. Add a reflection on how your daily interactions align with your identified values. Take note of any discomfort or negative emotions you feel when something doesn’t align, as this could be a red flag.

Thank you for your engagement in Module 3. Understanding your values is a significant step in avoiding red flags and cultivating fulfilling relationships. In our next module, we’ll be differentiating between red flags and relationship challenges. See you in Module 4: Red Flags vs. Challenges.